By Myra Jenning Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychologist
The return to school, whether after summer break, a holiday, or a period of disruption, can stir up a mix of excitement and anxiety for children and adolescents. While some nerves are a normal part of transitions, for many young people school-related anxiety can feel overwhelming, affecting sleep, mood, behaviour, and learning.
As a clinical child and adolescent psychologist, I often remind families that anxiety is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is a natural response to perceived uncertainty or threat. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety altogether, but to help young people understand it, tolerate it, and move forward with confidence.
Why Back-to-School Anxiety Happens
School brings many unknowns, including:
- Academic expectations and performance pressure
- Social worries (friendships, fitting in, bullying)
- Separation from caregivers
- Changes in routine or environment
- Previous negative school experiences
For adolescents in particular, heightened self-awareness and social comparison can intensify these worries. Younger children, on the other hand, may struggle more with separation and predictability.
Signs of School-Related Anxiety
Anxiety doesn’t always look like worry. It may show up as:
- Stomach-aches, headaches, or nausea
- Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares
- Irritability, meltdowns, or withdrawal
- Avoidance of school or school-related tasks
- Reassurance-seeking or clinginess
Understanding these behaviours as communication rather than defiance can shift how adults respond.
Practical Tips to Support Anxious Students
1. Normalize the Feeling
Let children know that it’s okay, and common, to feel anxious or worried about returning to school. Statements like “A lot of kids feel this way when school starts” help reduce shame and isolation.
2. Re-establish Routines Early
Predictability is grounding for anxious and worried minds. Gradually reintroduce school-year routines (bedtime, morning schedules, homework time) before school begins to reduce the shock of sudden change.
3. Focus on What’s Controllable
Help children identify what they can control (packing their bag, choosing clothes, planning a lunch) rather than what they can’t. Small choices can foster a sense of agency.
4. Encourage Brave Steps, Not Avoidance
While it’s tempting to protect children from distress, avoidance tends to strengthen anxiety over time. Instead, support gradual, manageable exposure, attending for part of the day, practicing the school route, or visiting the classroom ahead of time if possible.
5. Listen More Than You Fix
When a child shares worries, resist the urge to immediately reassure or problem-solve. Start with empathy: “That sounds really hard.” Feeling understood often reduces anxiety more than solutions do.
6. Model Calm and Confidence
Children take emotional cues from adults. Even if you feel worried, communicating calm confidence in their ability to cope sends a powerful message: “This might be uncomfortable, but you can handle it.”
7. Teach Simple Coping Tools
Age-appropriate strategies such as slow breathing, grounding exercises, or positive self-talk (e.g., “I’ve done hard things before”) can be practiced ahead of time and used at school.
When to Seek Additional Support
If anxiety is persistent, escalating, or significantly interfering with daily functioning, it may be helpful to consult a mental health professional experienced with children and adolescents. Early support can prevent anxiety from becoming more entrenched and can equip families with effective tools.
A Final Thought
Returning to school is a transition, not a test of resilience. With understanding, patience, and the right supports, anxiety can become an opportunity for growth rather than a barrier. When children learn that they can feel anxious and still move forward, they build a skill that will serve them well far beyond the classroom.